How to deal with negative emotions?
Every day, we go through many different kinds of emotions! How do you deal with negative emotions?
At Jung Suwon Martial Art Academy, not only does Great Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim teaches us about our physical flexibility but she also teaches us how to be flexible emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
One day, I read about Great Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim’s Seven Steps to Inner Power book on How to Deal with Negative Emotions.
Great Grandmaster Tae Yun Kim teaches us that the first step is admitting that we feel negative and then keep in mind that we have three options for dealing with negative emotions.
Option 1: Carving in Wood or Stone
Perhaps you may have immortalized a romance between you and your girlfriend or boyfriend by carving your names in a tree trunk or in wet cement. The idea was to make the symbol permanent. You may have already carved some negative emotional states, such as anger, worry, resentment, fear or sorrow, into your consciousness. Those emotions are coming from either your conscious or your subconscious mind. You may have felt so righteously justified in feeling them that you accepted them and had no intention of letting them go. But who does this effect? It only hurts you. Perhaps, when you adopted these negative feelings, you didn’t know that this option would eventually obstruct your growth.
Option 2: Writing in Sand
The native Americans created sand drawings, knowing full well that ultimately the wind would blow them away. This is how I describe negative emotions that are held until something external happens to stimulate them or change them. We haven’t determined to release them. This is an unstable emotional condition because we are not “In charge” of those emotions and we don’t take constructive feelings. May the emotions will be discharged smoothly; maybe won’t. But their presence, until removed, is counterproductive and obstructive.
Option 3: Writing in Water
We cannot write in water. We cannot carve in water. Water’s nature is to flow. And that is how we should treat negative emotion. When it comes, let it go. Let it flow away from you like water moving down a river bed. Do not allow it to aside in your consciousness for any amount of time or to become permanent. Release it as soon as it comes. “I can’t” you may say. You Silent Master says you can. No matter how intense an emotion may be, If you immediately refuse to dwell on it and refuse to focus on it, it will have no staying power. Speed is the key. Act quickly to release it.
After I read this, immediately I evaluated myself in the past. I remember in my childhood, I was very spoiled! Pretty much I was given what I want so easily. But as I started growing up and getting the chance to face the real world, when a situation arises and things don’t go my way, I never knew how to handle my emotions. Just as the first two options were explained It’s so easy for me to hold grudges on others or beat myself down which only contributes all together to hindering my growth.
When I first read this section of the book, I found myself nodding a lot. Everything totally makes sense. I realized that in the past, I have become one extreme to the other and following the first two options First I thought, if I just don’t think about it and tell myself, it is no big deal then I thought it won’t bother me but found out in the long run that it really does bother me and by that time, the issue becomes bigger. Then, I move on to the extreme end of feeling that I need to ponder on it just so I can make sure that I wasn’t trying to run away from it like what I usually did before. However, I learned that by doing so, I am only entertaining this negative energy and the more I do, the more it just drags me down. I learn that writing in water means that we acknowledge the negative feeling that we have and that we are completely aware of it. Instead of hanging on the negative emotions we must let it flow like water and then ask ourselves the questions like, what can I learn from this situation?